I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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