we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize