Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
