dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You can't motorboat a personality
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize