i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
time to smoke my breakfast
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
