I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
