there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
