so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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