i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
