He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
