fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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