Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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