i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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