Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
