i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
