Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
