Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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