Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
