You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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