I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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