I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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