She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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