if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
