and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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