So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
