The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
