Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
