I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
