Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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