is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
