I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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