I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
