So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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