The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Randomize
