cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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