I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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