Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
