Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
