no, he came in my armpit
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You took a bar mat shot.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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