literally had 100 drinks last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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