Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
