I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
