Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
