I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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