Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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