i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
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Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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