I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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