i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
