i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize