its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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