Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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