i permit you to call me
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize