Tell her she can't have a vagina
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
