OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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